Building Layers

Today is my birthday and I am one of those people who LOVE it when it is their birthday! I wake up feeling special, excited, and happy that this is the day that I celebrate my life. 

Birthdays are important... No other day do you celebrate your life, you being on this planet, the day that God placed his breath into your lungs.

I woke up this morning with pure peace and happiness. I am so thankful for the life that God has blessed me with. I thought about my husband, who I love more now than I did yesterday; my children who were entrusted to me; my parents who made me who I am; my sisters who I grew up with; my family and friends who have shaped me. Each and everyone of them make me smile and happy. I am so thankful for the people who helped guide me a strengthen me. 

I decided to make lasagna for tonight's Home Church and birthday dinner. While I was making the amazing deliciousness, I was hit with many memories from my childhood. Specifically, one of my mom making Lasagna.

 As an adult, I have alway gone with the quick "oven-ready" noodles, not the ones you have to boil then layer. Who has time for that? But, tonight, I wanted to do it differently.

 As I was draining the noodles and cooking the sauce, I visioned my Mama standing over her stove with her HUGE silver pot full of sauce and another HUGE pot of noodles. I remember sitting at the kitchen table with my two sisters or standing around the island waiting for her to start putting the layers together for her lasagna. We LOVED when Mama made lasagna! As soon as she would start putting the layers together, we would  watch for any fragment of broken noodle that we could swipe. Torn noodles were the prize on lasagna night!  As soon as one was spotted, it was snatched up.  The best part about Mama's lasagna wasn't the lasagna itself...although it is pretty darn good! It was being able to dunk your broken and torn noodle pieces into the left over sauce. I'm not sure why it tasted soooo dang good! It was like crack! We would eat like we were never going to eat anything else again, all this even though we know we are going to eat the whole lasagna in less than an  hour. But still we stood and waited for the torn pieces to dip in the pot of tomatoey heaven. 

As I created the layers on my lasagna tonight I found myself still looking for the torn pieces of noodles. I did save them and wish incredibly hard that I could share that with my two sisters and mom. I was not able to tonight, but I am so thankful that I have those memories. And just for them, I called Addison into the kitchen to share with her the best part of lasagna. 

Here's to you Mama! Thank you for teaching me to make lasagna, and most importantly... Building layers of memories!

Answering the Tough Questions

 

We knew we would get them, we knew they would come at random times, we knew that no matter how many times we explained it, some wouldn't understand. 

When Ben and I first decide to be foster parents about a year ago, we wanted to make sure that we were able to answer the hard questions ourselves before others started asking them. We wanted to be able to answer them for us... So we knew that our hearts and God's plan were in line together.  After months of sitting, praying, crying, and laughing, we felt that we had the answers we were looking for. We had our answer to any "tough" question that anyone could/would throw at us.

As soon as we made it public knowledge of our family's mission, we were surrounded with support, love and strength of family and friends. Although they had questions and concerns, we instantly felt their support and love.  When they started asking the tough questions that we knew were coming, we felt at ease and ready to answer. Our responses were fluid and we felt confident in our choice.

I was surprised at how many times we would be asked these same questions over the next several months...not from family and friends, but complete strangers or people who barely knew us. It's not like I didn't want to share God's calling for my family or the desperate need our county was in, but I started feeling like our perfect little support system was getting cracked by doubt.  I know that people are curious and may not understand this process, but if felt like our answers to their questions weren't good enough for them. The just didn't UNDERSTAND.

So, to the people who don't understand why we are a Foster Family...

(I promise, these are real questions that we have been asked by others)

"Why don't you just have another baby?"

We are not fostering to make our family bigger, we are fostering to provide a safe place for children to be loved until their family can get the support they need.

But, what was going through my head was...

"Hmmmm, no offense... Been there, done that...twice." 

"But what about your own children, how will they deal with it?" 

What better way to teach them to love all God's children than to show them. 

Our daughter is completely aware (as far as a 5 year old is concerned) what fostering is. She is so happy and excited to be part of God's plan.  Our son, will grow up knowing nothing else. 

"Aren't you busy enough?"

Yes, we are busy. We both work full time and we have two young children. But when God speaks and calls you to be a part of his plan, you jump!  We are still busy, but God has given us peace and comfort that we cling to daily.

"How can you love someone else's child the same way you love yours?" 

There is no greater feeling than being loved like you were created to be loved. This is not a favorites game, this is digging deep and showing love and kindness to God's children who need it most. My children have gone their whole lives knowing that they are loved and wanted. Some children have never felt that. My children know they are safe. Some children never have felt that. 

This is not about loving them equally, it's about loving. Period. 

"Aren't you afraid of what what type of child you will get?" 

Honestly, yes. That was a major question that we faced when we first chose to foster. We have two very young and impressionable children, they needed to be safe. But we also know that this was still not a reason to walk away for our family's calling. We completely rely on God in his plan. He knows the children that will be placed in our home and I will put all my faith in him. 

I have saved the most frequently asked question for last....

"How could you ever give these children back?" 

I understand this question and why people ask it. 

As parents, our worst fear is something happening to our children. We would do anything to protect them. We become this protective force shield that keeps our precious children within our reach. They are OURS. That isn't the case with foster children, they are not ours. Never were to begin with... They have parents and family who feel the same way about them as we do our biological ones. Ideally, they will eventually go back to their parents.  I know this is hard to accept, understand or agree with. The foster care system is designed to help families reunify, not permantly seperate. A foster home should be a safe place for the children to have temporary care, support and love while their parents are getting the help they need. I know that there are many arguments that can branch off from that statement, but that is how it should work in the ideal situation and that could be a completely seperate post ;-) 

But going into foster care knowing in our hearts and minds that our calling was only to foster, helped us keep our hearts and focus on the ultimate goal of reunification.

Adoption is not an option in our family's mission at this point.  Our mission is to hold the children who come into our home and look into their eyes and tell them.... 

"You are wanted, you are safe, you are loved."

• 1 Corinthians 13:13
  And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
  
  

  • 1 John 4:8

    Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
    
    

• 
  

Pulling the Weeds

This is the view that the ugly weeds see as I am pulling them out if the ground. They are perfectly happy multiplying in my yard, and making this spotty mess of multi-colored green. I am less than thrilled about the appearance of them. 

The problem with this weed is that it is difficult to see. It entangles and webs and weaves it's way through the healthy beautiful grass around it. It uses the healthy grass as protection and slowly chokes it out until it can take up the space. For weeks I have been driving into our driveway and cringing when I see the lavish and evil weeds that are slowly taking up my once beautiful yard. And for weeks, I pull in the garage and go inside. "Out of sight, out of mind" right? I started making excuses about why they could stay, why we shouldn't do anything about it. "Everyone else in the neighborhood has them, we can't afford to hire someone to kill them, it would take too long to pull them... " the list goes on and on. We even tried to pull them one day... For about 10 minutes....then gave up. I even called a local company, set up a time for them to come assess the job, but canceled the appointment because I knew it was going to end up a financial burden on our family. I had gotten to the point of just accepting these ugly weeds as new members of our family...you know the ones I'm talking about. The ones that no one likes to be around, but there is nothing you can do about them.

Then today, I walk outside and see my sweet patient husband kneeling in the grass pulling the evil things from our grass. Here he is in the middle of this spotted lawn pulling tiny weeds, a job that would take forever. After making sure he knew how LONG it was going to take him, his only comment was "you don't have to pull them." Never once stopping. Of course, I got on my hands and knees and started pulling... Yes, complaining the whole time. Looking up every few minutes and seeing him still pulling and his pile of weeds getting bigger and bigger.

As I was pulling ... And complaining, I realized that this was a lot like my life right now and possibly many others' as well. 

We are all faced with this ugly evil that starts out as a seed that embeds itself into healthy, lush, growing Christian lives, and eventually begins to take over in many different ways. Drama, lies, money, greed, selfishness, hate, etc. We start to notice that these "weeds" are slowly taking over. But we keep pulling in the garage and going inside to continue on with your life, hoping that no one else notices. It is often hard to stop life and pull these "weeds" because it will take too much time, be a  financial burden , or that we don't know what spot to start pulling first.

This past year has been full of so much joy and happiness. We were growing spiritually, emotionally, and four months ago our family grew physically. Our family "lawn" was lush and beautiful. Although it is still lush and beautiful, there are more "weeds" that I have noticed lately. Selfishness, doubt, and worry. 

Being a mom is hard. Being a mom, wife, daughter, granddaughter, friend, teacher, and trying to grow your relationship with our loving God seems impossible sometimes. This is when the "weeds" start webbing their way and starting to choke out the good and healthy.

It wasn't until I saw my husband drop down and start pulling right where he was, grabbing the first weed that he came to. Why shouldn't we do that with our own personal "weeds?"  It doesn't matter where we start, just start pulling. Eventually, your pile of weeds will get bigger and your lawn will be healthier.

Spring has Sprung!

The South is such a beautiful sight in the spring. Grass turns this amazing green, flowers start blooming and the beauty that God created is transformed into a new dimension. Spring symbolizes new birth, new life, change and new chances. Spring is so many things.
In the Smith House MANY things have changed. ...

We have been in Brunswick for a full year now and are completely in love with the area, our friends, jobs and church. God knew what he was doing last year when moving to Glynn County became an open door that we were terrified to walk through. He has held our hand and guided every step of our journey to make such beautiful memories. His timing is impeccable, and  astonishing. I look back on our year here and become overwhelmed with the ways in which God has guided us through his plan.

Addison is finishing up her Pre-K year....completely insane that she is old enough to do this! She will start kindergarten in the Fall. She is so incredibly smart, charming and beautiful. I can't wait to see where her path leads her.

Asa has grown from being a little baby into a full blown toddler! He doesn't stop talking, running, climbing, squealing, eating....the list will go on FOREVER! He had developed a beautiful personality that is charming and lovable. He has a tender heart and is in love with his family, especially Addison. He is speaking in cute choppy sentences and uses the cutest hand gestures and facial expressions. He still loves to snuggle and give lots of hugs and kisses. He recently learned how to hunt Easter Eggs for the first time!

We decided that we loved living here so much that we decided to buy a house!! 

When we thought that it couldn't get any better, I found out that I will be transferring to the same school Addison will attend!! We will start next school year together, WOOHOO!! 

I look forward to MANY more years to come!

Another Place at the Table

We are in the final stages of foster care approval with our foster care organization, and we couldn't be more excited and scared at the same time. As early as next week, we will be approved with the state to be foster parents for a child we have never met, but were created to love before we were ever born.

Ben and I discussed being foster parents or adoption on and off infrequently since we were married. The thoughts passed through our conversations over the past six years with a "yeah, I think we might want to do that one day" but then passed along to be discussed another day. We had two beautiful children in these years and have enjoyed every second of it...well, maybe not every second...but neither of us would trade anything for those times. :-)  
After we moved here to Brunswick, our mind, eyes and hearts were opened again and the fostering conversation began visiting more frequently. It became a normal topic of conversation and became a want in our hearts. The moment when I knew that God was leading us down this new path of family ministry was when Addison brought out her baby dolls and had this conversation.

Addison: Mommy, these are my new babies.
Me: I like those new babies.
Addison: Their mommy and daddy can't take care of them right now, so I'm going to take care of them.

We had previously talked to her about what new plans may be entering our home. We discussed what it might be like, good and bad. It was a little 5 minute conversation and she went off to play. But for her to bring this up two weeks later with the love and compassion that she had is amazing. At that second, I knew without a doubt that God wasn't just speaking to our hearts, he was speaking to hers too.

 In our church, we are surrounded with some amazing people who have opened their homes to our community's children. And through our church and these people, we were led to Faith Bridge.  God's timing is amazing, I believe I say this at least once a week! I can't believe how amazing it is sometimes. About a week after Addison became a foster parent to her baby dolls, we found out that Faith Bridge was having a series of meetings and trainings at our church. We signed up, with the idea that we were just "looking into things" and walked out of those meetings completely in love with the organization, the people who make it possible as well as the thought of a new family member that would one day join our home. Since the end of February, it has been a mad dash of paperwork, background checks, lost birth certificate for our youngest, physicals, baby proofing to the extreme and prayers that this was where God wanted us to go. Now, here we are waiting on our last visit before approval.

If it had not been for this organization, our church and our family, we would not feel this overwhelming comfort that we have now. We feel completely supported, loved and prayed for. We are truly thankful for everyone who is and has been part of our preparation. We look forward in sharing the journey with you.

"for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure."

Philippians 2:13

Your Temple

Three weeks ago, our church launched a series that helped us look deeper into the body that God created. Are we treating our bodies like the temple he created? Are you taking care of your health so that you can do his work when he calls for you? Are you showing appreciation to the owner of all things including the body you live in?  The answer was difficult for me to answer. I had never looked at by health to see if it glorified God. I have had two children, eaten WAY too many cupcakes, became addicted to sugar, and found Pinterest over the past 6 years. My body look nothing like a temple to be proud of. I was embarrassed to call my body a temple for God. I knew then that something had to change.

I know, you think I shouldn't blame Pinterest for my unhealthy lifestyle.... but how many of you had the original though of wrapping cookie dough around an Oreo or brownie? huh? or... the 99 BILLION ways to make cheese dip "to die for"? Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Pinterest. I just didn't use it in ways that helped my health, nor my budget..but that is a different story.

Back to the health series.... So to kick our butts into gear and stir up our competitive nature, The Biggest Winner contest was introduced. Participants were selected to represent the 4 different services and were given a coach for 5 weeks. Each team weighs after each of their service times and totals are recorded.
Being selected for this opportunity was very exciting and motivating. I had extra weight that I had been carrying around for a long time and I felt trapped in  the body that I was living in. I really started looking at the way I was treating the temple God created and realized that he deserved better.

Our team began training with our coach multiple times each week and I started a clean eating meal plan. OMG...I was not happy with this meal plan. No sugar, No dairy (CHEESE), No wheat products, No coffee and many other yummy goodies that I have been downing for the past 6 years. I didn't know how I would survive! What do you eat if you can't have cheese?!

It took a few days of crying and complaining about the things that I would have to give up before I realized that this was nothing compared to what God gave up for me. The whole point of this experience is for us to better ourselves and to develop a better relationship with our creator. What better way than to give up the things that you crave and "feel" like you need? My mindset quickly changed so that instead of this being a "diet," it was a fast. One that I can tell you has brought me much closer to our loving God.

My communication with God has increased drastically. It started out as prayers of strength, and encouragement and turned into thankfulness, appreciation for this opportunity and his ability to open our eyes to so many things that we were blind to.

So, as we are starting week three, I look back at my "before" picture I took when I started going to the gym in October. Not only can I see a smaller person, I see a woman who has changed her outlook on her health, and a woman who is proud of the temple God created for her.

In the past two weeks, I have lost 9 pounds and 1 pant size.
Since October, I have dropped 18 pounds and 3 pant sizes.
I am working up the nerve to share pictures of my success...I'm not there yet. Stay tuned!

" Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;  you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies."

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

New International Version (NIV)